by Ramon Presson
I overheard the person say it as though she had recently come out of a 20-year coma and had just stumbled upon the phrase as a fresh novelty and nugget of wisdom that simply had to be shared with the rest of the world. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” she said with a head tilt and smile. I imagined she probably has the lemons-to-lemonade Ziggy poster in her scrapbooking room. I glanced to see her friend’s reaction – a furrowed brow and a silent scream of “Oh Dear God, I’ve got to get some new friends!”
As a professional counselor I’m a big fan of reframing a negative or putting adversity in perspective. I enjoy helping clients put on new glasses with alternative lenses to view themselves and their circumstances. I just prefer to do that myself rather than have it be done by a trite cliché involving fruit. So I thought I would give the lemons a twist on the 35th anniversary of their debut as a phrase that makes you want to slap anyone who actually says it. Pick your favorite and make it into a poster.
When life gives you lemons…stick some firecrackers in ‘em and blow them all to heck!
When life gives you lemons…insert them into the tailpipe of your boss’ car.
When life hands you lemons…ask, “Does this come with fries?”
When life gives you lemons…re-gift them. (You know you’ve got someone in mind.)
When life hands you lemons…jump up and down, scream, and act like a crazed person who just won a new car on “The Price is Right.” Life will be afraid to bring you lemons ever again.
When life gives you lemons…hold them like a split finger fastball and throw them back at life’s head.
When life hands you lemons…hand them back and say, “I ordered a daiquiri.”
When life gives you lemons…paint them like grenades, duct tape them to your chest, walk into Starbucks and say to the barista, “I want a venti skinny pumpkin spice latte and I WANT IT NOW!!!”
When life gives you lemons…make spiked lemonade, open a stand, and undersell the neighbor’s kid.
When life gives you lemons…leave them outside in the sun until they shrivel up. Tell yourself that your problems will do the same if you just ignore them also.
When life gives you lemons…take them to Kroger and say, “I told my husband to get key limes. Key Limes! Not lemons. What a dolt!”
When life gives you lemons…carve them like little tiny jack-o-lanterns. They’re cheaper than pumpkins but much less fun to smash.
When life gives you lemons…never mistake the juice for eye drops!
When life gives you lemons…take them to Chick-fil-A and say, “The lemonade I bought here yesterday was not very fresh. Here, try again.”
When life gives you lemons…it could be worse. Life could give you prunes and you never see photos of prunes or prune juice in a motivational poster.
When life gives you melons…you just might be dyslexic.
–rLp–
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